i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
