Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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