He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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