So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
