I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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