i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
