Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
