It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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