He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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