I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
