guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
