I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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