garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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