I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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