# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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