we have officially lost it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
