Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
