the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
