arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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