That's intense
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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