How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
