We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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