I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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