fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
