some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
