You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
