Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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