But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Buhtt sex?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
