Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
