We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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