Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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