I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just had sex bonerless
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
