the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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