I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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