she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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