1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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