She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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