i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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