Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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