just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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