What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
