Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
