What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
