My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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