Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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