New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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