he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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