I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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