I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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