i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
