Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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