my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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