so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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