You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we made out on top of his cat.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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