Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
