I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
