i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
