Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
