Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
