i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
