The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
