After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
