He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
