that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
