she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Randomize
