It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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